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"You know the Commander?" The question is half-rhetorical. The conversation that he witnesses, however brief, makes it clear there’s a history between them. The look the major sends after her only confirms it.
"I used to."
On Mars, James feels like a third wheel while they argue. He knows Shepard about as well as Alenko—which is to say, not very—but he can’t help siding with her. No way Commander Shepard, savior of the galaxy and first human Spectre, would be working with scum like Cerberus.
He gets the full story later from former members of Shepard’s team, as one-by-one they join the crew. Even Major Alenko comes aboard after Shepard saves the Citadel again, but James isn’t surprised. Knowing what he does now about their history, he thinks they must be like two ships caught in a gravity well. Nothing could separate them for long.
Nothing but this.
"Don’t leave me behind."
Once again, James is the third wheel. Goodbyes deserve privacy but he suspects the major wouldn’t be standing if someone wasn’t holding him up. This could be their last moment together, he thinks and then he can’t look away. Once, he witnessed a beginning; now he has to see it through to the end.
He blinks and she’s gone, running toward the beam without looking back. As the Normandy rises into the air, James feels the major take a shuddering breath.
”Get me to the med lab, Lieutenant,” the major says. ”I promised her I’d—” His voice cracks and he sags in James’ grip. Despair hangs heavily over both of them. Alenko takes another breath and then he straightens. “Let’s go.”
having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. it’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive, and it’s wanting friends while hating socializing. it’s like running a marathon with the willpower of a corpse because you want to get to the end but you also want to sleep and evaporate into the soil and become compost for snails and flowers because then at least you’re useful
Game of Thrones Wedding Cake